I’m Not A Man: The Woes of Writing First Person From the POV of a Man

Still putting in an effort to finish off (pun may or may not have been intended; I’ll let you decide) the sex scene for my short story, Employee Benefits, Sierra commented that I should try writing it from Nate’s (my MMC) POV, even though it’s first person Lacie’s POV. Well now. That was a thought. Albeit a passing thought as I drifted off to sleep one night, only to be forgotten by the time I woke again. (Thanks for the reminder!)

Another friend threw out a number of ideas for me when I told her I was trying to write the scene from Nate’s POV. But she got me thinking about silly things that could happen. But… this scene is too hot for the silliness of real sex. (You know, the awkward positions that just don’t work because you’re not flexible enough, the slappy/squishy/sucky noises, the wet spots… that stuff.) I started writing it from his POV.

But it’s really tough.

I have no idea what it feels like when a ding-a-ling starts perking up. I have no idea what it feels like to have a fully erect lolly-pop. And I certainly have no idea what it’s like when the time comes to blow a wad. I also don’t know what it feels like to be sliding around in there (front or back) or what it feels like finally sliding into home base. And I don’t know what it feels like to have a pair of lips wrapped around my quivering member while someone smokes my hog either. I’M NOT A MAN. I mean, I know what it feels like on my end of the deal, but I sure as shootin’ don’t know what it’s like for him.

I simply don’t know what it’s like to have a penis. A cock. A dick. A rod, shaft, rocket, one-eyed wonder worm, serpent, member, manhood, lolly-pop, popsicle, schlong, willy, prick, johnson, pecker, wood, peter, or whatever else you might want to call it. (Yes. I could throw in some more, but right now, this is all I can come up with.)

But still, I’m not a man. I don’t have a pole to dance on. I’m the one that does the dancing on the pole. I don’t know what that thing is like on a regular basis. I just know it’s fun to play with it.

So I guess we’ll see how this goes. And what comes of it. (That one actually wasn’t intended.) For now, it’s back to Scrivener to crank out a few more words. And with any luck, I’ll get all my words to fit together in a way that is right for Nate and Lacie. Maybe I need to get them drunk and see what happens…?

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