My Friend Tested out my Contact Form…

And because I’m full of snark today, this is how I replied:

Thank you so much for your interest in my craft. At this time, I am regretfully in edit mode, with plans of releasing my second short story in the coming months, so I will not have time to answer all of your questions about neurotic writers. We’re an oddly eclectic assortment of earthly beings with too many strange, sometimes disturbing, sometimes rib-crackingly funny internal thoughts flowing through our veins, begging for escape. Because of “Edit-mode” (also known as staring blankly at the screen for several hours trying to figure out how to fill in the Grand Canyon that is the current plot hole) I am unable to comprehend much more than colorful metaphors and coffee. And liquor.
Again, thank you for your interest. I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
-Milli Gilbert
PS: All those “always” or “never” things writing bloggers like to call “rules” are really more what we call “guidelines,” and should not be adhered to as the laws of writing. Every tool has it’s place in your prose. The trick is knowing when, where, and how to use them, just like in the wood shop.
She may, or may not, have busted a gut laughing. In commentary in our Google chat, she mentioned that she took “wood” to a dirty place that is not full of tools and furniture. Then blamed me. I do take full credit for the derailment. I’ve corrupted another innocent soul, and brought them over to the land of double entendre. *Takes a bow and steps out of the spotlight*

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